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But naturally, if the partners are without each other for any length of time, they may want to be with "other" others, as the article mentions: Then there's the fraught issue of whether each party is allowed to see other people during the separation. "If one of the parties wants to date, this is not a trial separation, it's the end," she says.
Some therapists believe that dating is OK, as long as both parties are truly comfortable with the decision. As Tigger says, you just can't argue with a word like "fraught" (well played, Ms. But if the Hundred Acre Wood isn't one of your favorite hangouts, maybe you remember the years many of us spent at Central Perk.
In particular I'm thinking of Ross's meticulously crafted defense of "we were on a temporary separation.
There are several reasons that the issue of dating during a temporary separation is so "fraught." As Ms.
Dating while separated can hold up and complicate the divorce proceedings, can effect custody and visitation decisions, and rarely but possibly, depending on the state, may be grounds for a lawsuit.In some cases this may even be the stated purpose: partners (one or both) may openly proclaim that they want to see other people to relieve emotional or sexual frustration, and/or to reassure themselves that their partners are truly the ones they want to be with.(This is a common justification offered for adultery, and to be fair a temporary separation is a more honest way to go about it.) But in either case, this goes deeper than the complaints of "I just can't stand him [or her] anymore" described in the article. Casually going out for dinner and a movie with someone is one thing, but intimacy—however you want to define it, whether emotional, physical or both—is another.This is one of the most common dilemmas my patients have brought to me over the past four decades.Though there are multiple variations on the theme, there is one way in which they all are similar: two women are in a competitive triangle with the same man.